There were many things that attracted Heydi Smith to her husband, Jacob Smith: his kindness, his parenting skills and his sense of humor.
But one thing that stuck with her, interestingly enough, was how often she would get annoyed by his humor.
"He would do anything to make anybody laugh," Heydi said. "It was sometimes annoying, but I'd give anything to be annoyed by him right now."
Those moments of mild annoyance are now just that: moments and memories of a person gone too soon. Jacob Smith died June 30 after a motorcycle crash north of Manito, where he, Heydi and four of his seven children lived. He was 39.
As Heydi mourns, she looks back on the fateful night of his motorcycle accident and the person she and her young children miss.
"They get what's going on, but I don't know if they quite get it," Heydi said. "Sometimes, they'll forget and say something like, 'Mommy, Daddy, look! Look at this!' Then they'll go, 'Oh, Daddy's not here.'"
Jacob worked at FLSmidth for four years as a welder, according to his online obituary. He enjoyed fishing, being outdoors and was a fan of the Chicago Cubs and Pittsburgh Steelers.
Waiting and waiting
On the night of June 30, Jacob was out with his brother, informing Heydi's mother he would be home around 9 p.m. Heydi said Jacob wasn't one to arrive home late without telling anyone, so the fact that he had been gone was concerning to her.
"He would never say that he would be home at a certain time and not be home at (that) certain time," Heydi said. "My mom messaged me a little after 9 p.m. and said, 'Hey, I'm going to take the kids and go back to my house,' because she has COPD and needed her inhaler.
"Jake wasn't home yet. I checked his location on Life360 (a location-sharing app) and it showed that he had been in the same spot on Manito Blacktop for roughly 30 minutes. I tried calling him and I knew something wasn't right."
Mere seconds later, one of Heydi's cousins sent her a Facebook post detailing a motorcycle crash near Jacob's location.
Fateful trip to the hospital
She left work immediately and headed to Carle Health Pekin Hospital, where she was greeted with the news he had been sent to OSF Saint Francis Medical Center in Peoria for further treatment.
"Somebody from Pekin Hospital drove me to OSF," Heydi said. "He was in surgery."
After the crash, first responders found him alert but confused, according to the Coroner's Office. While at OSF, his condition deteriorated rapidly.
At first, she was the only family member or friend at the emergency room before she was joined by a pastor, who informed her that her husband was struggling to live. Surgeons recommended she call family and friends to bring them up to speed and if possible, bring them to the hospital.
"I called his brother (and he) came," Heydi said. "I called his mom and his other brother who lived in Minnesota and they headed (to Peoria) right away. (I) called his son and he made it up there right after he passed."
No kind of surgical procedure could solve the many injuries that Jacob suffered in his crash. He had multiple head and chest injuries, as well as severe internal hemorrhaging. At 11:54 p.m. on June 30, Jacob Smith died, leaving behind Heydi, four children, three step-children, five siblings and a step-sibling, his mother Sue Watkins, his uncle Charles Watkins and his mother-in-law.
The aftermath
Heydi had to stay busy in the days after Jacob's death, not having enough time to process what exactly happened. But even though she had a ceremony and cremation to prepare for, the magnitude of her husband's death wasn't too far away.
"(I) was constantly surrounded by people, so I was constantly busy," Heydi said. "(But) especially in the morning or evening, it was fear, I guess, like, 'I don't know how I'm going to live this life without him, being a single mom now.'"
Jacob had one adult child and three younger children, one of which was removed from Heydi's home after her husband's death to live with her birth mother. She admits that it's difficult not to have everyone in the family together to mourn and reflect on Jacob's life.
"It's been difficult," Heydi said. "The family's not all here like they should be, together."
Now, Heydi must keep everyone together as they try to pick up the pieces and try to recover something of a normal life. Jacob was cremated, with Preston-Hanley Funeral Home and Crematory handling arrangements.
Memorial contributions may be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, Midwest Affiliate, 530 Northeast Glen Oak Avenue in Peoria. Heydi said the idea to donate all memorial contributions to St. Jude came about due to her husband's passion for helping kids.
"He'd do anything for a kid," Heydi said. "I don't care whose kid it was (or) what they needed, anything. If it had to do with a kid, he'd go out of his way to make sure they had what they needed. We took in our cousin's daughter for a while when her parents were going through a rough spot. If a kid was doing without and he knew about it, they were no longer doing without."
A GoFundMe set up by a family friend has raised $6,400 since it was established shortly after his death. The funds were used for the cremation and for an estate attorney to help Heydi in transferring the deed to their family's house over to her, since Jacob's name was on it.
"I have to get an estate attorney so me and the kids can stay in the house," Heydi said.
Reflecting once more on Jacob's life almost a month after his death, Heydi said that he was simply the best at everything, from marriage to fatherhood to friendship.
"He was the best at everything – the best husband, the best dad, the best son, the best brother the best friend anybody could ever have," Heydi said.
